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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Single? Make Sure You Love Yourself!

We have all heard that old adage ‘ You have to love yourself first before you find love’ but how do you keep on loving yourself and keeping your self esteem high when you have been long term single or perhaps suffering from relationship trauma?  

One of my best relationship tips is to remember is that life is a mirror – and nowhere is this more obvious than in relationships! Do you find yourself in relationships where your partner doesn’t respect you or perhaps fails to show you the kindness and love you deserve? If so – pay attention as that could very be a mirror of your own relationship with yourself. How can you expect someone to love and respect you if you don’t respect yourself or you are constantly beating yourself up with a big stick?

In this blog, I am going to share with you my top tips for raising your self esteem. In doing these steps you will start to feel more deserving and worthy on the inside – now what a great mirror that is to send out to the outside world! If you think you haven’t got the time or maybe you believe you are too busy, then think again! Many of these will only take a few minutes of your time or can be done when you are in the shower or perhaps brushing your teeth each morning.

Remember, surely you are worth a few minutes of your own time?

1) Smile at yourself each morning in the mirror. Make sure it’s a big cheesy grin! You are wonderful remember, whether you are in a relationship or not!

2) Write a list of things that you like about yourself and your positive qualities. These could be the fact you are loving, helpful, creative, or the fact that you get things done on time. Make sure you write down at least twenty! Remember, if are kind and loving to yourself, people will be kind and loving to you. If you abuse yourself with harsh words, then watch out, you may just invite a bully into your life.

3) Each day affirm to yourself ( at least ten times if you can!) ‘ My self esteem is growing every day’ and ‘ I am a valuable, loveable person and I deserve the very best’

4) Quit comparing yourself to others. Remind yourself that there will always be some people who have more than you, and some people who have less. Comparing yourself to others will NOT make you feel good about yourself.

5) Accept compliments gratefully. The next time somebody says something nice about you, take time to write it down or spend a few moments thinking about how nice it felt.

6) Remind yourself that you are HUMAN. Quit beating yourself up for not being perfect. Vow each day to praise yourself, not criticize yourself. This takes practise but even if you stop yourself from criticising yourself just once then you are making great progress.

7) If you are surrounded by negative people or energy vampires, this will make you feel bad about yourself and will lower your self esteem. However, if you surround yourself with positive and supportive people you will feel better about yourself and this will raise your self esteem.
8) Each night before you go to bed, think about ( or write down if you wish) five successful things you have done that day. This could be as simple as getting to work on time, helping a friend or cooking a healthy dinner.

9) Set yourself a mini goal to complete each week. This could be anything from speaking to a stranger to putting a new boundary in place. One of the best ways to increase yours self esteem is to take action – you will feel great about yourself when you do!

10) Be true to yourself. Make sure you are living your own life and not the life someone else wishes you live. If you feel nervous about standing up for yourself etc, make this one of your mini goals. You won’t develop self esteem if you sit on the sidelines and don’t push yourself to take risks and new challenges.
Remember, we are all capable of increasing our self esteem with just a little bit of effort. You will also start to take more risks and be less concerned with making a fool of yourself or failing. Remember, confidence is the sexiest trait!

Go for it – you deserve it!


Lisa

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! What everyone should do to improve one's self-esteem. Thank you for this post! Definitely worth sharing. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Shariza, lovely to receive your comments. Have a lovely day xx

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  2. Rule number one, ya gotta love yourself before ya love someone else. Great post. Thanks and keep them coming.

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  3. Well said, if only we all could spend more time loving ourselves than being critical towards ourselves Thank you for sharing and your lovely comment. x

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  4. This is such an nice article. Thank you for sharing with us.

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  5. To love yourself is the most important thing in life. Without it we can not love others. My mother always says that the heart has enough room for more than just one beloved person, and if you want to trully love your husband/wife, you must also love yourself.

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  6. Your mother was a very wise women Joanna and thank you for sharing those beautiful words. xx

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  9. Mini goals each week is a really good idea , very easy to lose focus otherwise.

    Rgds,
    Martin

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