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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

He is just not into you.........

For someone who has been coaching for over ten years, you would think that I would have got the hang of trusting one's gut on a daily basis.   I do choose to follow it the majority of the time and truly believe that your body really is the best compass.  Believe me, I have been burned quite a few times when I have chosen to by pass my intuition and put my head in the sand hoping that everything will be ok in the end.  Gotta love a bit of denial sometimes eh?

However, i seem to have a total blind spot when it comes to truly following my gut when it comes to bloody men.    Why is it that as women ( ok, I am generalising here after just watching ' He is just not into you' ) we come up with justifications, excuses and explanations for the poor behaviour of our partners or 'would be' partners?




Why do we find it just so difficult to follow our guts, admit ' he is just not into you' and put our own needs, feelings and wants first in a relationship? ( Again, I am assuming due to the millions of relationship self help books around that I am not the only girl in the universe with this issue!)

I thought I had the ' Red Flags' sussed.  After being in an abusive relationship for over  5 years,  I thought I truly knew all the signs and when to walk away with dignity.   To be honest, this has served me well in the past as I know it was a loving thing to walk away from ( in the words of Bridget Jones) - any sort of addict, emotionally unavailable man  or one with a relationship phobia!

But hey, along comes exactly the sort of person who has red flags splashed all over them and starts my heart thumping.  DANGEROUS.   So, what do I do instead of walking away immediately, I come up with every blinking excuse in the book including ' It will just be some fun'  or ' I know what I am getting into - I will be relaxed about the whole' thing. NOT.

So much for feeling relaxed, I feel off balance and slightly mental!  Mind you, it did have to laugh at myself when explaining to a friend ' He doesn't mean it,.......it's just not like that......OMG GIVE IT UP LISA AND LET IT GO!

So, just for myself or any other dillusional women ( or men out there) let me remind you:


I am going to pin this on my wall as a reminder.  To be continued..........









6 comments:

  1. I have read your article "He is just not into you..." and after reading a few times I understand what you mean...!
    But if "He is really into you..." it is easier say to forget it to forget....if you know what I mean...!

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  2. Melvin, I did have to read that several times before I worked it out! Alas...you are right, difficult to forget but still not into me!!!

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  3. This is exactly the kind of thinking we need more of, bravo.

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  4. Thank you so much for your support ;0) xx

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