Making easier and more confident decisions (with a little ‘bush flower’ help!)
Clare Chapman is an accredited Australian Bush Flower Essences College Course Teacher and Practitioner - visit her website www.flowertherapies.com.au for more information.
Is decision-making more painful than a trip to the dentist for you?
I can’t imagine there would be too many things that people would be more afraid of dealing with in their life than having to make a decision (probably a close-second would be public speaking, but we will tackle that one in another post!).
“But what if I make the wrong decision”, is often the common remark, or at least the internal thought that plagues most people at the time they face a cross-roads: left or right, up or down, should I stay or should I go (to aptly quote 70′s punk band, ’The Clash’)?
Based on the fact that it is critical in so many aspects of our lives, I thought it may be helpful to look at how we can use Australian Bush Flower Essences in the decision-making process to help with: making your decision; feeling more confident with yourself after you have made your decision; and having the confidence to know that no matter which decision you have made, you are always able to adjust course at any point in your journey.
:: Self-Esteem ::
I believe that one of the most important aspects of good decision-making is believing in yourself: believing that you have the ability and life experience to weigh up the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ of your current situation, and deliver a decision that will keep you moving in what you deem to be the right direction or at least keep you moving! Five Corners (Styphelia triflora) is the remedy to help you here, as it will help you to realise that you are the only person who can know what is best for you, and can therefore never make an incorrect decision. Dog Rose (Bauera rubioides) may also be helpful here to remove any fears you may have about your own ability to make decisions, and to instill more confidence in your own abilities. Another good remedy to ensure you are confident in your past actions and achievements is Philotheca (Philotheca salsolifolia) as it may be that you just don’t recognise the good decisions you have made to date and you need to commend yourself more for all your past achievements. Having a healthy level of self-esteem will ensure that you will never see any decision as incorrect nor punish yourself for what you deem in hindsight to have been a wrong decision: it will instead leave you viewing your decisions as nothing more than learning curves or opportunities to move towards your goals in different directions – some via the fastest option and some via the ‘scenic’ route!
:: How clear are your goals? ::
Sometimes one of the simplest things hindering good decision-making is how clearly we articulate or are aware of our goals. Even if that goal is just a short-term one, such as ‘which restaurant should I eat at tomorrow night’, you still need to be aware of what your goal is for the evening: are you entertaining a work colleague that you need to impress or are you just having a cozy evening with a loved one? Something as simple as working out your objectives can make the decision making process so much simpler. A good Essence to assist with getting clear on your goals is Sundew (Drosera spathulata) which can help you think clearly and focus while you are asking yourself about your objective.
Maybe you don’t know what direction in life you want to head in and therefore find it hard to make goals that suit your unknown objectives. Silver Princess (Eucalyptus caesia) would be a good remedy here to help you to find your life direction and purpose. If you don’t know where you want to go, it is almost impossible to work out how to get there!
:: Do you determine when you have to make decisions or do circumstances? ::
This may sound like a strange question, but do you tend to ‘steer’ your life or do you end up making decisions by default: that is, do the decisions you face tend to come about after others around you have made their decisions and you simply react to them by choosing what you are left with?
Christmas Bell (Blandfordia nobilis) may be helpful if you feel that you don’t create your life, but rather you only react to what circumstances around you dictate after they occur. It is an empowering remedy that will help you to sculpt your life and help you to manifest some of your own desires, rather than letting yourself get pushed along by the crowd around you.
Perhaps, though, your problem is that you find yourself making the same decisions over and over again, with similar results (e.g. you may find yourself constantly choosing to work in similar jobs where you keep getting disillusioned and ultimately leave, or you keep choosing the same type of person for a partner which leaves you ultimately feeling unhappy and ending your relationships). If this is the case, you would most likely benefit from using some Isopogon (Isopogon anethifolius) to help you learn the lessons you are missing from these past decisions, which in turn will empower you to make better decisions in future.
:: Have you made ‘bad’ decisions in the past? ::
Remembering I pointed out earlier that there is no such thing as a bad decision, only different lessons to be learned (see Isopogon above if you aren’t doing this!), maybe you feel disillusioned by what your decisions lead you to in life. If this is you, then maybe some Sunshine Wattle (Acacia terminalis) is just what you need to give you a more optimistic outlook on life and the decisions you face. And if a lot of the time you feel that you don’t really have a choice (an indicator of which might be if you use the expression ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t’ a lot!), then you may benefit from using Southern Cross (Xanthosia rotundifolia) to remind you that you are indeed responsible for your life and decisions. It is important to note that even if you don’t make a decision, you are still choosing to forego your right to decide.
:: I’m afraid my decision isn’t going to be popular with the people around me ::
This may sound like a tough problem to deal with, but in reality it can be an excuse to avoid making a decision. In reality, as long as your decision does not infringe on somone else’s freewill, isn’t harmful to other people or doesn’t involve breaking the law, the only way it can harm others is if they have a different agenda for your life than you have. A good Essence to help you deal with any fear of confrontation with the people around you is Tall Mulla Mulla (Ptilotus exaltatus) as it gives you the courage to a make decisions that are beneficial for yourself, without wondering if others will be annoyed with you or will initiate some sort of argument with you about it. Another Essence which is beneficial for you if you are considering others too much when making decisions is Illawarra Flame Tree (Brachychiton acerifolius) as it helps to make your decision without worrying whether friends or family will reject you because they don’t approve of it. And if you find that you simply cannot make a decision that your loved-one hasn’t initiated for you, then maybe taking some Monga Waratah (Telopea mongaensis) will give you the strength of will to think and act for yourself, without needing someone else to make your decisions for you.
:: Some overall good decision-making Essences to consider ::
Paw Paw (Carica papaya) is a really good remedy if you are feeling overwhelmed by having too many options that you have to choose from and you cannot get clear enough on any of them to make a decision.
If you have trouble getting clear on just what your options are, processing and understanding the raw data you need to consider to make your decision, or even just concentrating long enough to make your decision, then Jacaranda (Jacaranda mimosaefolia) would be a really good Essence for you.
Bush Fuchsia (Epacris longiflora) is very important in the process to get you in touch with your intuition – especially if you find that you don’t have very good ‘gut instincts’ or you tend not to be able to make a decision quickly based on a quick review of a situation.
If you feel your decisions are always made on facts and figures, with no consideration for your emotions, passions or feelings, then Hibbertia (Hibbertia pendunculata) may be a good choice of Essence to change the way you make decisions: to involve your heart, and not just your mind.
And if you are always making boring decisions and want to change or ‘spice up’ your life, maybe taking some Turkey Bush (Calytrix exstipulata) will spark creativity into your decision-making to bring about some new results and new situations.
:: One final note ::
Still dreading decision-making? Maybe some Pink Flannel Flower (Actinotus forsythii) may help you to be grateful that you indeed do have choices when you do not want to make a decision. After all, it was best said by Henry Kissinger that, “The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously”, so the fact that you are feeling burdened with options when making a decision is at least a sign that you have freedom of choice! So it may give you peace of mind to know that no matter how tormented you feel by the decision you face, at least you get to choose where you go next and it is not being decided by someone else.———————————————————————————————-
Until next time, be well!
Clare ~ Baliena Flower Therapies
© 2009 Clare Chapman T/As Baliena Flower Therapies, All Rights Reserved