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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Are You a Victim?

Ok, this blog may be a bit harsh.   When working with my coaching clients, I do find that even the very suggestion of the  word ‘Victim’  or not taking responsibility for one’s own life can cause heaps of denial and shocked looks.

I know we don’t like to admit it, but there are many of us out there failing to take responsibility for our own lives, finances, happiness, relationships etc.   We then decide to point the blame at other people for failing to support us, make us happy or for failing to give us what we want.

Failing to take  responsibility for our own lives is a common issue but it really leaves us dis-empowered and often resentful.  

Where in your life are you pointing the blame at other people for your current circumstances?

I had a friend years ago who always blamed other people for the lack of money in his life.   It didn’t matter what job he was in or how much he earned, it was always somebody else’s fault that he wasn’t abundant enough.     What made things worse was the fact he became jealous of anyone else who had more money than him and also expected others to lend him cash or treat him to dinner and drinks.

Can you see in this example  how this person was not taking responsibility for his finances preferring to  be the victim?  At the end of the day, nobody is coming to save us and we do need to step up, take action and be responsible.     For those of us who are stuck in victim hood, this becomes even more difficult we have decided we are rather fond of the ‘ poor me’ story and in some way, are getting something from not taking responsibility such as still getting to blame our parents for our lack of confidence, financial maturity or poor relationship skills.

However, this belief really doesn’t serve you.  It keeps you stuck in a spot of self-pity, blame mode and totally dis-empowered.   Ok, you may get to moan about the person who you believe is responsible for your behaviour and situation but get honest, is this really helping you live the life you want to lead?

You are an adult now which means it is time to start to take responsibility for all of your life.    People may have let you down and treated you badly in the past -  but are you really happy to give these people the power to ruin your life now and in the future?

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