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Sunday, September 18, 2011


I have been travelling a fair bit recently and therefore, making lots of trips to public toilets, whether they be in a restaurant, pub, airport or shopping centre. 

Now I do recognise that times are changing, but I am starting to feel slightly traumatised by the whole ' popping to the loo' experience. 

The reason?  - the multiple types of sinks / taps, dryers, soap dispensers which I have to work out how to bloody use on each occasion. 

Gone are the days you simply just pressed the soap, turned on the tap and dried your paws under a dryer. Now, I have to work out without looking like a complete idiot, whether the taps switches on itself ( I try waving my hands under the tap in hope the water will appear), how to get the soap out of the dispenser without it dribbling all over the sink ( or in some cases, no sink at all, just a worktop thingy with a moat around it) or my more feared experience, does the bloody tap turn off itself when I have finished or do I just walk away looking like a non environmentally water waster?

Last weekend I visited a local pub only to find that not only do I have to decipher how to use the bloody thing in a female safe zone, that now it is apparently the norm for me to share my sacred space with men as only UNISEX toilets were available!  Shudder! 

Anyway, in order to avoid embarrassment going forward, I ask that all locations with ' complicated' toilets place a process and procedure manual outside so we can all read it while we are waiting in the queue to go.    At least it will pass the time.

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