I feel the need to honour my dark side today so thought I would live up to my name of being Spiritual and bloody irritable in this weeks blog.
I love my clients. All of them. But if there is one thing that gets my heckles up or leaves me feeling frustrated is that nauseating long term victim mentality and behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I also wore that the Victim sticker on my head many times in the past but I do find it frustrating when people choose to wear the victim jumper just to get attention or to blame someone else for their life and avoid actually doing something about it.
I have a friend who is a long term victim. I love her to bits ( I have to say that in case she is reading this) but spending time with her recently has been a bit of a struggle and I am beginning to think cleaning the cooker with a toothbrush as being a more attractive option. The reason for this is that within 2 minutes, I can forecast that the conversation will turn around to how miserable, hard done by or resentful she is of how her life is turning out. ' Nothing ever works out for me' she will exclaim or ' It's OK for you'.
It is at these moment that, unable to ram her over the head with a heavy object I try....yet again to support her and lovingly ( sometimes) encourage her to take some positive action. Does she ever do it..........NO of course she flamin' doesn't as deep down, she has become to enjoy the attention she may get from other people when she is selling her ' story' to unsuspecting people she may meet.
It doesn't take much these days for her to spiral into victim hood. Whether its a sloppy waiter ( This always happens to me) a rainy day ( Typical weather, it always rains when I need to be outside) or a busy day ( there is no wonder I haven't got time to change my life). She easily finds heaps of things in her day to complain about.
Conscious of my belief that things which annoy us in another person are things we must own or work on ourselves - I then started to look at where I may be playing the victim. Was it at work I asked myself? With friends? My health? With myself? Then the light bulb moment hit, I was being a victim just listening to my friends behaviour , and often, I do admit, having a good old bitch about her behind her back!
So, take this to be my last hopeful whinge about a victim friend as I am going to take the plunge and talk to her about it. I am going to inform her how I feel the energy and life being sucked out of me when ever we catch up and I can't do it anymore - well, not without a large G&T anyway.
So, if you are reading this and perhaps have been wearing the victim hat for too long, how about you take some action NOW and download my fabulous Amazing Coaching ebook which is packed full of action steps and EXCUSE BUSTERS. I promise it will help you shed your victim mentality and quite possibly, give your friends a bit of a break as well ;0). Click here to shed the VICTIM and move into VICTORIOUS! AMAZING COACHING EBOOK