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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Putting yourself out for other people

I admit it, I really can be an anti-social sod sometimes and really and truly enjoy my own company! Although many people see me as an extrovert, I am more than happy to settle down at night, watch a good drama or potter around in my own wibbley wobbly world chatting to my angels or a random gnome which may have found itself in my sock drawer.

I am not a cave woman though and do enjoy the company of others - but i do also like to strike a balance between company and my own little Lisa's world.

Despite trying to keep this balance,  I try to be flexible, always up for a spontaneous night out or a last minute request from clients or friends to catch up.  
What I have realised this week though, is that often I need to protect my precious time alone and learn to say No to others who wish to share or 'pop over' during my pre-arranged ' Lisa Time'.

This week, trying to be the nice friendly people pleaser I am,  I accepted a last minute invite from friends despite looking fwd to some quiet solitude time in my PJ's.  I re-arranged my organised massage and long hot bath and looked forward to the arrival of friends.   However, they had a last minute change of plan leaving me feeling tired and yes, I admit it, a little naffed of!    However, these things happen so I openly re-arranged another night, well aware that this would indeed make me a busy little fairy this week with little time to chill and re-charge my own batteries.

Surprise! - The re-arranged night was again postponed as my guest had a change of last minute plans, leaving me (yet again) all dressed up and ready to go with alas, no where to go!

I take responsibility for my part here - rather than be so accommodating to other peoples needs, I need to be more accommodating of my own.   This has been a lifelong pattern for me, changing my own plans when other people need me or re-arranging my own schedule just to fit in with others and keep them happy.

So, this week I start a new lesson.   I will happily keep my much needed balance of Lisa time and social time as indeed it does keep me sane, happy and relaxed.   I will learn to put my needs first and state them to other people.  Those who love me will totally understand I am sure, but it's up to me to tell them!

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