In the absence of a decent man to get me started in the morning, I have resorted to the next best thing, a large take away Soy Latte.
My coffee companion gives me such joy as it lovingly grasps my hand as we take a leisurely walk through Hyde Park each morning on our way to the office. This is a most pleasant part of my day and a time, over the years which has led to preventing many early morning grumps.
Last week however, I decided to take some time out and treat myself to a 6 day stay at a relaxation retreat. Having dipped my toe into several different retreat experiences over the years, I decided to avoid the 5.30am start type of retreat ( twice I had escaped from these types of retreat in search of a hamburger and chips) and treat myself to a more leisurely, rejuvenating escape. ( or so the website promised).
However, on arrival at my new home for the next 6 days, I suspected that I had become an extra in ‘ Life on Mars’ and was in fact, stuck in some sort of 70’s time warp.
Reminding myself that ‘ everything happens for a reason’ and to ‘ take the positives from the experience’, I refrained from hopping on the next train back to civilisation and decided to make the best of my little holiday. I even managed to refrain from zapping out my Scorpio tail, when I later discovered the really freaking annoying bell
(situated outside of my bedroom) which was rang every 90 mins or so warning everyone within a 5k radius that the next activity was due to begin.
On Day 2, I sat down to breakfast eagerly searching for my daily caffeine fix. Noticing it’s absence, I requested a large mug of coffee. Imagine my reaction when I was informed:
‘ We don’t allow coffee here, only fruit tea’.
OMG, not only was I stuck in the middle of nowhere, but I was expected to stay calm and relaxed WITHOUT my morning caffeine fix. I tried begging, screaming, crying and even resorted to bribing the resort owners but nothing worked. I also became extremely defensive when after stamping my feet and holding my breath for the second time, I was accused of being a caffeine addict!!!! Me…I caffeine addict I protested….I only have one a day ;0). Needless to say, nothing worked and coffee simply was not on the menu.
I returned to my room and finally took the only other option I had could think of apart from doing a runner. I asked my angels to intervene and assist me in my quest to rendezvous with my latte love. I also searched frantically for some sort of voodoo doll which resembled the resort owner.
Anyway, after 2 hours of sulking, I decided to join the others for a bush walk. Not wanting to be shown up by the youngsters, I decided to follow their lead and take a rather large jump between two rocks. Needless to say, my arthritic knees gave way and I ended up squashed between the two bloody rocks nursing a rather sore back and even more painful arm.
As a result, I was dragged to the nearest hospital for an x ray which, luckily enough was situated right next to the hospital coffee shop. It was a good job it was only my arm which was hurt as I positively sprinted to the counter to place my order for my favourite friend!
Thank you angels for answering my request – even if your methods were a little extreme!