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Friday, March 26, 2010

The Rescuer

Yes, I admit it - I am a rescuer.   In the past,  I have spent endless hours on little human
'rescue projects' all to make myself feel worthwhile and important.  There is nothing I enjoyed more that charging in on my white horse with a box of tissues to save any poor individual who happened to need a little bit of love and support.

Playing this role however has cost me dearly in the past so this year I decided to throw out the mask of the people pleaser and first and foremost, start to rescue myself.    As previously mentioned,  I am no longer that ' Nice person' who over steps her own boundaries and allows other people to walk all over her.  

One of the most interesting parts of this journey is realising how much I allowed other people to control  or rescue me in the past.   Learning to teach others that they no longer need to treat me like this is now becoming an interesting pastime - one of which I have not yet perfected!

Take last Saturday for example,  there I am, having a few beers over lunch when a well meaning friend piped up ' Lisa, Why have you still got your sunglasses on?'

Between mouthfuls of food I replied ' Because I like to keep them on and the sun can irritate my contact lenses'

Now, you would think that is the end of the matter wouldn't you?  Nope.......
So my friend continued ' Well,  take them off, nobody else is wearing their sunglasses'

Now, the old Compliant Lisa would have just removed her sunglasses in order not to upset her friend.  I would have then spent the rest of the bloody meal squinting into my BLT and perhaps 'accidently' kicking my well meaning friend under the table with my 6inch heels.

The new Lisa however,  is slightly more assertive and is learning to stand up for herself a little more.     Therefore, I replied '  Sod off and mind your own bloody business, if I want to wear my sunglasses, I bloody well will, bugger off and stop telling me what to do you stupid tart'

Ummm, ok, maybe I haven't yet mastered the calm assertive response but hey, life is about balance and after spending so many years wearing the passive doormat mask, it would make sense that I have to experience the other end of the scale first. 
Therefore, I will sit with the  grumpy angry mask until it becomes time for me to settle into that assertive middle of the road seat!  

Let's hope it comes soon before I lose all my friends........


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