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Saturday, March 13, 2010

Desperate

Sydney seems to hold an abundance of single beautiful women. Many of which ( including myself) can often be found drinking latte’s and complaining to anyone who will listen about the perceived shortage of good men. I say good men, as this week, I have become rather shocked at the lengths some chicks will go to, to attract or hold onto ‘ a bloke'  even if he really isn’t that good or interested.



Ladies, at what stage did we decide that our needs were less important than anyone else’s? At what point did it become OK to accept less that we deserve? When did our need to be approved of become so great that we turn into a either a needy limpet or a bunny boiling control freak? Just what lengths will we go to in order to receive a biscuit crumb of love instead of insisting on the whole big delicious chocolate biscuit?


Don’t get me wrong, I am not sitting here in my ivory tower pointing the big blame finger. In the past, I have defo been guilty of a period of co-dependent behavior and selling my soul in order to be liked or approved of ( ok, even for the chance of a decent shag at the end of the night).


Let’s take my friend Sally for example. She has a crush on a guy (Let’s call him Mike) who works in her office block. She instant messages him at least ten times a day and scrutinizes every reply she receives back. In the past two weeks, she has dragged me down to his local pub at least four times ‘ just in case’ he is in there. She has also purchased 5 new pair of shoes and 3 new outfits in readiness of Mike actually asking her out on a date. This has been going on for 4 months.


Or there is my friend Anita who, after having two dates with an Italian Chef, has taken to calling him at least 5 times a day and stalking him with SMS in order to find out when they are next catching up. When he doesn’t return her calls, she makes excuses for him and tells everyone he must be busy making pasta. She talks about him incessantly and how much she hopes HE likes her. Ummmm, what about her making sure that HE is good enough for HER?






The scary thing is that 90% of my friends, like myself have moved here from overseas.


Sometimes I do wonder that, due to not having our close family and friends around, that we become starved of love and therefore willing to be grateful for any sort of love and affection which comes our way. This in turn, makes us desperate to be loved.





In my work working with abused women in Sydney, I find most of my clients have no close family in Australia. Coincidence? I don’t think so.


So ladies, for your own respect – change your mind set and focus on respecting yourself. There are many fabulous men out there who are available. The only thing us ladies need to do first is to remember how fabulous WE are.



Remember, life is like a mirror. If you respect yourself, you will be respected. If you believe yourself to be worthy of healthy amazing love, you will receive it. However, if you act like a door mat, do not be surprised if you are treated like one.













1 comment:

  1. Lisa, most of my friends are from Australia and the single ones are in the same situation! So I don't really know about the overseas link. I often wonder if we just work too much these days and live in a soap opera society where it's more interesting and convenient to have a bit of drama than to invest in a real relationship. We may not be consciously doing this, of course, but sometimes when I listen to my friends and look at my own behaviour, I wonder...

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