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Saturday, January 30, 2010


Domestic Violence comes in many forms

I am happy to say, I’m an abusive relationship survivor. One who can now tell my story and help other abusive relationship sufferers recognise the destructive behaviours of their partner, and find the strength of Will to say, “No more!” and make it out of their situation not only alive, but FEELING alive.

Recognising an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship can rear its ugly head in a number of ways: Does your partner frequently criticise you, undermine your self esteem, and humiliate you. Do you hold your opinion back, for fear of ridicule, verbal or physical punishment for doing so? Have you been isolated from your family and friends and is your partner controlling your life, friendships, work or money? Is feeling powerless, fearful or dependant commonplace in your daily life? Is your self respect and self esteem all but withered under the shadow of their control? Emotional abuse may not always lead to physical abuse, but physical abuse in relationships is almost always pre-cursored by verbal abuse and emotional abuse.

Upcoming Interview on Abusive Relationships

I’m being interviewed on Thursday for 'The Difference TV Show' which is apparently a cross between Oprah and Parky. It’s a TV show about how we can all make a difference in this world. My chosen specialised subject is 'How you can love yourself enough to get out (and stay out) of an abusive relationship'. I must admit to feeling a tad nervous. The TV promotion states that my 6 minute interview is to be viewed by over 6 million people, and not only do I keep forgetting my lines, but I haven't got a clue what to wear. But at least now, what I wear is MY choice.

I say 'specialised' subject as it took me over seven painful attempts to get out and stay out of my 5 year relationship of emotional abuse and verbal abuse. Every day I did stay, I kissed goodbye to my sparkle, my self respect and most of all, my self esteem. After 5 years, my identity departed down the plughole and emotionally, I was a downright wreck.

However, the good news is that I did escape the clutches of that toxic twat and now thankfully, find myself in a position where I can assist other people by sharing my own healing journey out of that abusive relationship.

This journey includes taking small simple actions on a daily basis to build up your self esteem so eventually, you will love yourself enough, to not only accept healthy relationships in your life, but also to seek them out. Mind you, take it from me, it sounds easier than it is. (but a lot easier than experiencing the torture of an abusive relationship!)

Seriously, I take my hat off to people who are in an abusive relationship as they are really some of the most courageous people I have ever met. They are not weak, or cowards (as society may believe us to think) but they are just like you or I. Abuse isn't rare and it can happen to anyone. A recent survey showed that at least 1 in 4 adults have been abused within an intimate relationship - now that is scary!

This interview is the first step in getting my message out into the world. I can only hope, that by sharing this message, that I will assist other victims of abuse in an abusive relationship.

The second step is finishing my book which contains the simple actions an abuse victim can take, in order to step out of abuse, and into love.

So, wish me luck and please pray that I don't make a complete nincompoop of myself!

Lisa xx

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